Look at the pretties!

chosenprat:

I punched a guy bc he was making rape jokes and one of the things he said was “what’s the difference between yes and no? Nothing” so I asked him if he’d care if I punched him in the face and he said yes but I did it anyway since there’s no difference between yes and no and that’s the story of how I gave someone a bloody nose

necrophilofthefuture:

shout out to slugs for doing everything a snail does without a helmet

liguorior:

such-a-weirdo:

vaporheart:

let’s all start referring to singular objects as concrete entities

“hi, welcome to mcdonalds!” “hello, i’d like to order the hamburger.”

rosetyleres:

scaredpotter:

forever wondering what the punchline of uncle vernon’s japanese golfer joke was

stop wondering

hedgehog-goulash7:

nutellaxcookie:

iwantcupcakes:

Zach’s pants are NOT food

Susan’s nose is NOT food

That orange cement is NOT food

and neither is that Hasty Pudding award:

Or that car door:

Or that weird-looking plush toy:

Or that envelope:

And before you get any ideas, Scarlett Johansson is NOT food either:

And neither is this woman:

And Gwyneth’s costume:

In his defense, he was hungry…

fredcollins:

OKAY, SO, MY DAD COMES IN AND HANDS ME A LETTER TODAY AND HE WAS LIKE “well I don’t know what’s happening but I’m pretty sure this is for you” AND THIS IS WHAT HE HANDS ME:

so naturally I OPEN IT.

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I WAS EXPECTING TO FIND

someone legitimately took the time and money to write out this letter EXACTLY as it appears in Goblet of Fire, and COVER IT IN STAMPS. THEY EVEN SEALED IT WITH WAX.

I DON’T KNOW WHO THE FUCK DID THIS 

WHAT IS HAPPENING

with-out-wax:

benedict—cumberbatch:

watsonsdick:

valeria2067:

hoshiko2000:

Ever wondered what Sherlock would be like if John and Sherlock’s personalities were switched? Like John was the one who was a twat and Sherlock was the really nice and polite one?

Oh, that’s easy:

Also

somethingfeline:

substantialityou:

secretlyjohnwatson:

DO YOU EVER JUST START AN EPISODE AND YOU’RE LIKE

I KNOW THIS EPISODE TUMBLR TALKS ABOUT THIS EPISODE

also known as OH THAT’S WHERE THAT GIF IS FROM 

See: I HAVE BEEN WAITING TO GET TO THIS MOMENT FOR THE WHOLE SEASON!

hobocrepe:

jimcavill:

laszlotastic:

My friend Morgan and I were talking about making a youtube series and blog dedicated to being Root Beer Connoisseurs.
Like just tasting different rootbeers and talking about it like they’re some sort of fine-wine type drink of arts 

I want in.

This sounds amazing.

timelordparadise:

myownlost:

I’d like to cancel my subscription to Menstrual Cycle Monthly

I’m sorry, it appears you’ve taken out a fifty-sixty year subscription. However, we can pause it for nine months as long as you sign a contract that says you’ll take out a subscription to Baby Daily for at least eighteen years

fishingboatproceeds:

rhymenocerous:

Thanks, tumblr.

harleyquinn394:

i-dont-understand-that-reference:

danisalmostonfire:

i-dont-understand-that-reference:

i-dont-understand-that-reference:

today in science class we were talking about thunderstorms and we looked out the window and there was a storm in the distance so i quietly whispered “the oncoming storm” and the kid behind me banged his knee on the desk and choked i think i have found my soulmate

this wasn’t supposed to get any notes omg

i ship it

We are dating

zaynrand:

IM JUST TRYING TO SPELL POMEGRANATES 

quazza:

i am reminded that english is a flawed language every time I am forced to use “that that” in a sentence